Spending hours in a car on the way to Ajo, driving and walking the desert outside Ajo town limits... distracted from the routine of day-to-day chores and responsibility... afforded me the time and solitude to wander my internal world. Such wanderings often help me find the answers to the challenges that we all experience on our evolutionary path back to wholeness. It is these meanderings, both internal and external, and my ability to see a broader view, that provide the inspiration for my writings. Interestingly enough, back in October I was told by a mentor of mine that I would be writing something on New Years... something that needed to be written for many to read, so here it goes.
Thoughts on Mr. Meat, aka Marley Mutt...
Does he want to be a desert dog? Was being a house hound too hard for him, did it limit his freedom? Did the comfort of a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast, cooked for him by Myke every morning, pale when compared to the lure of the outdoors? Did the “fight or flight” reaction trigger some sort of primal instinct that has taken over in the last week, causing him to forget the love we all shared? Do dogs employ logic? I mean, if they can feel... and Marley definitely is an emotionally responsive dog... does it then follow that they have the capacity to reason? The assertion that they can't may merely be a human assumption... feeding our need for superiority. What if they do reason? What if they can make choices based on observation and circumstance... just like like humans can?
As Danielle was out looking for Marley yesterday, calling to him, she wondered if he was actually moving away from the sound of our voices, choosing instead to explore the wild desert, trading the security of a warm bed for adventure. The same kind of thoughts were going through my mind and Myke's as well. If that is the case, if Marley has elected to run free, what then does that mean for we humans who like to think/believe that we are beyond our own primal natures? For me, the choice is simple. We can continue to honor the love he brought to our lives, rooting ourselves in that beauty or we can allow feelings of abandonment to overshadow the love, leaving only bitterness in its wake. Those first few trips home without him certainly brought up feelings of abandonment... causing us to feel as though we had deserted him or let him down when, in actual fact, we could do no more for him at that moment in time. Then conversely, the trips back also brought up memories of the times when we had been left by pets, or family or lovers or friends. Emotional programs imprint deeply.
This experience has had so many facets, so many up and downs. For me, the initial shock of hearing that he had run off on Christmas Eve rubbed salt into an old wound. See, I've long struggled with the Christmas 'season' because my racial memory bank has been tainted by negative energies associated with that time of year. On a really ancient level, I hold an awareness that the current 'holiday' came about as a means of usurping an old 'holy day'. As a Pagan, the holy day is Yule, the first day of Winter which heralds the return of the Sun, not the “birth of the son”. At Yule, the days begin to lengthen and the light that provided so much to the early people was a reassurance. The Sun's return created and affirmed a continuity that fed the spirit of the people, but the fathers of early Christianity sought to gain control over the Pagans. Pagan literally means field or country dweller, not “heathen” as Christianity has would have the world believe. Pagans recognize the divinity in Nature and we honor our connection to it. The Pagan's allegiance and/or devotion to Nature was an affront to the Church... the freedom inherent in that devotion could not be capitalized on so the church 'gave' the Pagans a new 'holiday' in the form of Christmas.
Shifting forward a few thousand years, the commercialized approach to the 'season' has often caused me to do my shopping for day-to-day essentials amid the throng of the “hustle and bustle” of the 'season. I very often find myself muttering aloud: “I really don't think this is what Christ had in mind”. For a time of year when we are supposed to be focused on “good will” people can get downright selfish and hostile. This year, given certain budget constraints, we agreed to just buy silly, very inexpensive gifts to throw into a grab-bag. So when I saw a sale at Old Navy, offering “Cozy Socks” for a dollar a pair, Myke and I got to the store just before 7 am, anticipating a large turnout. Well, there were a dozen or so people outside when the doors opened and you guessed it, the herd trampled into the store while Myke held the door for most of them, most failing to acknowledge him. By the time I got to the rack of socks, women were grabbing huge handfuls of them with no thought for leaving some for anyone else. Savages behave better! The real irony of it hit when the salesgirl informed everyone there was a 5 pair limit... so the glutenous beasts just dumped the excesses back on the bottom of the rack or they handed 5 pairs to each of the kids they had in tow. I had already picked my 5 pair and just wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could.
Then there was the day before Christmas Eve when I got caught in the herd trying to get into Costco. On my way through the parking lot, this woman driving a huge truck kept edging closer to me not once, not twice, but three times as she was trying to get a parking spot. She didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was walking alongside her gas-guzzler, she just wanted to park and get in the store. As I waited for the herd to move into the store, a woman behind me was literally breathing down my neck in her hurry to get inside a full nanosecond before I did. That did it! My Irish was now up so I stopped dead in my tracks and stepped aside, loudly proclaiming that she should go ahead of me because she was obviously so much more important than I. That elicited a roaring laugh from a young man near the incident, an incident I am certain was told over and over again at parties and gatherings. Thank Goddess for my sense of humor and my sometimes completely inappropriate lack of inhibitions.
So, as you can imagine, having Marley go MIA on Christmas Eve threatened to unleash another wave of “OMG, I fucking hate this time of year”. However, the Universe has witnessed me working towards recovering my youthful optimism over and over so it was a comfort to find that so many people took time from their holiday to help us in the search for Marley. I know Myke, Danielle and I really appreciate all they have done... now, Marley... let's get on board with that too; get your arse into that have a heart trap and come home to us.
More on consumerism...
This was a year when I once again made a conscious choice to honor myself above any materialistic pursuits. I had worked at a place that afforded me a quality of living that I had not really ever experienced. For once in my life, I did not have to live hand-to-mouth, constantly worried about “getting by”. However, after 2 years of that I found myself getting sick often and experiencing a growing distaste for going to work. I love the work, it was the job that I hated. There is an atmosphere of fear and greed gripping the country.... and I was working at a location where those emotions were sucking the life out of me. After a particularly hard-hitting bout with the flu that Spring, I KNEW instinctively that I had to make a change so I told the Universe that I wanted a change.
A few months down the road, an opportunity presented itself to me and I jumped on it. The opportunity didn't pan out too well, but it did teach me the lesson that I am far better off working for, and by, myself than someone else. See, I have inevitably gotten myself into situations where I give of myself so that another can benefit but I very often forget to serve my own needs. The person or persons I am attempting to uplift quite often take my kindness for weakness and then the trouble begins. Their perceptions block them from seeing what I am trying to express so I wind up shutting down and they don't like that; there is no more for them to feed on so I become “unyielding and difficult” or they don't like my energy.
Recently I was approached about lending my skills/gifts to a money-making event for the place I had left early in the year. I truthfully considered it for a bit before declining. So what did my refusal to involve myself get me? It was perceived that I was “pissed off” and therefore would not participate as a means of punishing someone. Ya know, people really should consider getting over themselves more often. After reading the response to my declining the opportunity, I realized that I am a resource, not a commodity. I am sustained by simplicity, not fanciful externals. Being on display in a store window offers only empty calories to the store and drains my reserve without really feeding me anything but scraps. Lesson complete! I am habitually self-employed, trusting the multiverse to provide what it is I require for sustainability in this limited reality.
Transcending limited reality...
Back in 1992 the late George Carlin did a bit titled: The Planet is Fine. In the act he stated that “the Earth wanted plastic” and I think he was on to something with that assertion. See, 60 years ago we....“we” being the “flower power generation”... intuitively began building a grid or matrix around Gaia, our planet while also creating a plastic replica. It was a very coyote thing of us to do.... coyotes being cosmic clowns that accomplish things by doing the unusual because we're tricksters by nature. So the “hippies or flower children” tricked the establishment by using the establishment's own materialistic creations to insure the liberation of Gaia from the clutches of fear's grasp. Highly intuitive by nature, we questioned and challenged 'authority'. We would not be turned aside by false power, instead we turned within to the real source of power. We rooted ourselves in LOVE and we sent that LOVE back out to Gaia and all Her creatures. That LOVE enveloped Gaia and I believe it has become the living expression of Her soul. The living expression of the Divine Feminine has found a reason to continue breathing.
Around the same time that Carlin offered his observation, I met another Witch who suggested to me that Gaia was experiencing Menopause. It seemed a fitting comment since, at that time, women from my generation were going through that rite of passage in unprecedented numbers. Being one of those women, I can assure you that once made that journey changes you forever! And now, with so many loving hearts awakening to their inherent Powerful Human potential, we are poised at another rite of passage. Those of us who instinctively know that all life is connected, who know that ensoulment is a means of creative expression experiencing itself and who know that Love is the purest value that we can adhere to, understand that we have the power to wrap this living, loving planet in a web of light and lift Her off the plastic world that has been crafted for those who only want to wield power-over. Those who traffic in fear and greed, those who seek control as a means of defining themselves, will wake some day in the near future and they will hear the winds of change howling at their doors. They will believe themselves spared from the apocalypse, but in truth, they will be living on a hollow plastic shell, surrounded by shadows. They will gain no sustenance from the shadows and they will live powerless lives as the Powerful Humans will have lifted Gaia to the 5th dimension where we will celebrate in paradise of our own design.
Embrace the LOVE in every moment my Powerful Human brothers and sisters, as it is our future.
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