Rage against the machine

Being fearless in a world that is fed only fear lends itself to a soul hunger for justice that is not easily satisfied. Being a front-runner in a world where being a member of a herd is a highly prized conditioned value makes for a loneliness so profound it creates a longing for connection that causes a despair so deep that it is not easily soothed. A cellular knowing of another awareness breeds a frustration bordering on rage when one feels the futility of the herd but is only a singular being trying to turn them away from a dumbfounded march to the slaughterhouse where they will surrender what is left of their freedom to choose.

Yesterday, in testing myself with the Jung-Myers-Briggs personality test, I came up as an INFJ character, an assessment that apparently places me in the one percentile portion of the population. (test here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp ) The interpretation of the results pretty much blew my mind; it was as if I wrote a description of myself... the self few people know. Describing the "fearless front-runner" that I am, it afforded me some comfort but it didn't suggest ways in which I might find the solace I seek in a world such as we currently find ourselves.
For me, there was no choice between the "blue pill or the red pill"... I was born knowing about the Matrix; it's that Intuitive part of the INFJ. But my Goddess, what does one do to halt the death march of the herd? For I believe that is the only answer that will provide relief from the "hunger for justice" and the "longing for connection" that fuels my rage.
Driving my car, I feel the futility and fear of frustrated people who are driving lethal weapons at 75 to 80 MPH. I used to sing to block their energy, now my iPod is my only defense and that armor is thin. Gratefully I only have to work 4 days a week, but it's enough; the rest of the week I feel them flying down the street behind my home. With the current economic situation being what it is, the fear has become so tangible I can almost taste it. It emanates from the psyches of the population, engendering a dark shroud that is easily cast off. The choice is simple: fear or love.
In the last 8 years we have seen the blatant, unrepentant lies of an elite group of people destroy our economy, our pride and our dreams and if the truth be told, these lying bastards are not done with us yet. Political pandering, a profound lack of ethics and greed have created a dark empire within the borders of America. This orchestrated economic situation was designed to cripple We, the People and whether that spineless lot of whores in Congress passes this "bailout" or not, We the People are fucked either way. If they pass it, We will carry not only the burden of a completely illegal and immoral war, but the bailing out of wall street as well. If they don't pass it, then the scenario I envision is that the smaller banks will begin to fail at an exponential rate, allowing Chase, BoA and Citi bank to gobble them up for a song and a dance and then, when all the dust settles, they will merge into one mother of a New World Order financial system... owning everyone who has a credit card and/or debt.

So here is where I channel my rage... on the blank pages of cyberspace... hoping that some who read this will be incited to move further away from the herd and form community.
While indulging in a period of abject vulnerability yesterday, I wondered why I am living in a city when my heart and soul long for the country and the answer is two-fold. First I must be here to feel the intensity of the herd... to feel their futility and fear for that is the fuel that I, as a "thunder being", must eat in order to feed the souls of the rest of you. The second reason is that my life as a "front-runner" who hungers for justice is a life of service to source. To that end, in November I will be opening my home to bi-monthly meetings to begin the process creating a sustainable community here in the Valley of the Sun. Topics will range from food sources to container gardening to self-empowerment through becoming more self-sufficient. The theme will be "Learn to Teach" a simple concept that just may help turn this world around. We each learn something to teach something to others. Please let me know if you want to be included in these meetings.

To those of you outside the Phoenix area, I will be happy to share the resources I find and keep you in the loop... just let me know if you want to be included. For those of you already living a sustainable life, if you have resources to share, please send them.

Be Blissed for you are loved.
PH Joyce